Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
