I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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