We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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