We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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