He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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