It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
