Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
