So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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