He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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