Do vagina's smell?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
