this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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