There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
