Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
