im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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