glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
