If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
