if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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