Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
two words...techno handjob
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
