Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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