You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
