hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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