fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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