i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
