Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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