Buhtt sex?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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