yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
