She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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