If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
