Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
