I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
