Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you had me at cake vodka
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
