Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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