So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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