We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
