dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.