Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.