So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
