Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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