I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
