I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
