yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
