Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
