absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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