Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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