Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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