I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
