What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
