Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize