Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
