Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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