his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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