i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
