Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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