I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
