Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
