like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There's always time for handjobs
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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