are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
