i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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