That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
