I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
