great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
