I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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